I’m going to describe my body for a bit. I personally love self-deprecating humor. If you find such things whiney, I’ll put some asterisks when I’m done so that you can skip.
My body has some redeeming qualities: if I want to find a flattering shirt, I need only hit the maternity section at target, find extra large or bigger, and I have a shirt that flatters my exact figure. If I’m walking naked from the bedroom to the bathroom, and want to carry my phone, but don’t want to use my hands, my belly makes a great shelf, and my droopy boobies provide opposing force to hold the phone in place. I don’t get cat called. I’m rarely cold. I can pluck hairs from the underside of my chin that might have been hard to see if I wasn’t on the verge of having a double chin.
However, I do need to do something about the PCOS-induced extra hairy chin, the spidery veins appearing on my thighs, the unpleasant friction between my legs if I wear a skirt. I need to stop the progression of the rivers of stretch marks across my belly, arms, thighs and breasts. I need to be able to keep up with the rest of the world, physically, and stay awake for the length of a work day. I want to be able to brush my teeth naked in front of a mirror and not feel like a jello. I want to jump and dance and not feel my belly bouncing when I move. I want to have healthy children someday, who will learn better eating and activity habits than I developed as a child.
That’s a big one. There is some kind of connection between PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and extra poundage. And PCOS can apparently cause barrenness. I want to have babies.
So monday was an awkward day. I got almost nothing done, as far as work is concerned.
It started out great, with a just-after-dawn hike. That was the high point though. I had to drive my husband al the way from richmond/pinole area to Cal Berkeley, then I went home. Then I remembered I need to go to the allergist. As soon as I get in the car and drive a couple yards, my nose just starts to bleed like nobody’s business. It was gruesome, and I had to pull over. I was too bloodied to drive the block or so back home without making my car gross, and I was still bleeding. I pulled over, opened the door, and leaned out to bleed into the street. I noticed it was flowing at about one drop per second, and for a long time, or it seemed long. I tried to reach the tissues in my car, but they were inconveniently located directly behind my seat. Eventually, I kindly stranger came to me with ice in a baggie, a wet paper towel and a whole role of paper towels. I know I said thank you, but it felt in adequate…. and he was gone before I could really grasp the situation, appearing and disappearing like a sprite (perhaps because I couldn’t really look up for long). I made it to the allergist, and spent the rest of the day itchy from immunizations. I went to the chiropractor to try and get my neck to stop being so stiff and sore. It’s less stiff, but still sore. Then I got a coupe hours work done, and had to get my husband from the BART station. And then make food. And then I was falling asleep since I’d been awake since 5:50 am.
But despite it having felt like a slow day, It was my first day to color in green. I hiked, and, although without the hike I would have been over my allotment, I didn’t eat anything that was bad in and of itself, so that is where I am drawing the line. If I eat a bad food and burn it off, purple, if I only eat good foods and burn some off, it’s green.
Also, when I woke up at 5:50 tuesday morning, I weighed myself. I’d lost 3 pounds!
Today, wednesday, I weighed myself, and found I’d lost a further 2 pounds. I had to take my car in today, and I also had to drop of my hubby at the BART. My plan was to drop off my darling, then meet a friend at the gym, who would then drive me home from the car place and we would work on our separate things at the dining room table. Guess which of those things didn’t happen…. Right. The gym. But it wasn’t my fault for once. Darling didn’t realize I was meeting a friend there, and failed to hustle his bustle to get out. He did his homework at home, instead of taking it to the library, the way I’d assumed he could do. He was very sorry.
Long story short, my friend and I went on my usual hike. It was way harder than hiking alone with an audiobook, but also way more satisfying. And I was so busy, I didn’t have time to eat anything dumb. And I forgot lunch. Which makes today *drum roll* a perfect day on the plan! I agreed to reward myself for perfect days with craft/art/music time, So I guess I’d better do that.
Ta-ta for now!