Today, I sat down to figure out what I want from life right now. I wrote the following list: A job, A great body, To start seeing a personal trainer, To start working towards becoming a personal trainer, Friends, Happy husband. (My husband isn’t depressed or anything, but there are certain things he’d like to see me being more on top of, and those are things I ought to do anyway). Then I wrote out how to go about getting those things. There’s not much to say about wanting a job, I need one and I don’t have one, therefore I want one. As for a great body, that’s what this whole blog is about, so I’ll give it a wee rest this post.
What I want to talk about now is wanting friends. It’s not that I don’t have any, it’s just that I get too shy to call them up to hang out. I get shy because I’m heavy, and because I don’t feel I can do what skinny people do for fun and friendship. Two of the girls I want to hang out with post lots of pictures of themselves doing acro-yoga together. Friggin acro-yoga, people. There’s no place for me in that! And I doubt I could keep up with them on their hikes. What else do people do? Eat together…. haha, terrible idea. Shopping? Hells no. Dancing or clubbing or drinking? I don’t like any of those things. Then there’s just sitting around and chatting… but what can I chat about? I don’t really do anything worth talking about. I’m good at listening though, I guess, so maybe that could work.
A while ago, I posted on facebook and invitation to anyone who was interested to go to the gym with me for free as my guest basically any time any day. One person responded, but he immediately got very sick and has been busy since.
Today, after seeing “friends” on the list of things I want, I was inspired to text him back and see if he has time now. We’ve decided to go next thursday.
Another plan I had for feeling like I have friends, is to stay very active on here and really try to cultivate relationships with people who are blogging on similar topics to mine. You may have noticed me commenting on your posts. That is me wanting to befriend you. This is me openly asking if anyone else out there is lonely for someone who will understand what this is like, and this is me announcing that on facebook I am Katrina Huber-Juma, and I would love to chat. I’m ok if you message me only when you are trying to stop yourself from bingeing. I would be happy to be your anti-binge friend. I’ll even give you my number so you can call or text. I would like to be someone’s supportive friend. For now, at least, I have little else to do, so I’m likely to respond quickly to a text or message.
If you looked at the image and were able to read my handwriting, you may have noticed I made a list of ways to court you lovely ladies of the blogosphere. One thing I’m hopeful about is the Blogger Care Package Swap community building scheme by Alison.
Also, today, Brittany, Aubrie and I entered into a “pact” to do better with our food choices. Brittany and Aubrie, I have no idea how seriously you took the pact idea, but I am hereby offering to listen to any stories of struggle or accomplishment that you think are too mundane to keep in your blog. If you need to list your foods and know that someone is looking, I will look. If you need to bemoan the missed opportunity to eat a cupcake, I will listen. You can tell me on facebook message, text, phone call, comment on an unrelated blog post of mine, we can make a facebook group, or I can link to you at the end of each of my blog posts and ask you how you have been doing. I sincerely want to be helpful. So let me know if I can in any way help hold you accountable!
If anyone else wants in on the pact, let me know. I’m very interested in everyone’s wellbeing. I want to be friendly, and I have plenty of time.
Hopefully I didn’t come off as too clingy in this post.